You ever worked at a job that you were overqualified for and your boss and the leadership seemed incompetent and inept and had the NERVE to be dismissive of your brilliance?

The role of the Ensign, I originated in “Wicket: A Parody Musical,” is written as a cautionary tale of the effects of casual racism, lack of representation, and mansplaining in the workplace.

In the Star Wars world elaborated upon in this parody, The Ensign is a black female officer in the notoriously white and male Galactic Empire. She’s a brilliant overachiever with a diabolical penchant for evil and a powerful voice that goes underutilized because of the package she presents it in. She is able to discern Palpatine’s covert operations and recognize all of the blaring and seemingly obvious, at least to her, flaws in his ill-conceived plans. However, every question or suggestion or attempt to infuse common sense is met with dismissal or, even worse, outright interruption.

Literally, her attempt to sing her song is cut off 3 times by some garish man not talkin’ about nothin’! When Palpatine’s failures become glaringly apparent to the point of being faced with an outright Ewok rebellion, the Ensign will no longer be silenced and commences to read the Emperor and his lackeys for filfth in the aptly named Fuckin’ Bullshit, an operatic aria, no less.

“You ain’t shit, ya’ boys ain’t shit, I was too good for this damn job in the FIRST place, you silence me because I’m a black woman, but #TimesUp!”
Photo by Haylee Anne Kitties.

Of course, the narcissist in Palpatine won’t have it and he strips The Ensign of her rank in a final attempt to exert his authority. By this point, The Ensign lets it be known that she is reclaiming her time and leaves Palpatine with a stern warning (and on some nights a good “I * PRO * MISE * YOU * BOO * BOO”).

The thing with incompetence is, when it is no longer being enabled by the undergirding of true skill and capability, it can only do what it does, usher in its own destruction. Thus is Palpatine’s lot when he fails to honor the signs and ultimately succumbs to The Ensign’s lightsaber. It is only at this point, after assessing the Empire’s wounded state and a need to regroup, she negotiates a truce with Princess Leia and her identity is revealed (((*spoiler alert* ))) as Snoke, later to become the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

You gotta wonder: What if Palpatine had listened to The Ensign? What if her brilliance and talents were embraced and utilized? What if The Ensign had flipped the fuck out the first time they came at her crazy? What if H&M had some black folks in on the decision-making process who could say “um, probably not smart to refer to a little brown boy as a monkey.”

Don’t be a Palpatine and miss your blessings! You better make an effort to be out here listening to people who are different from you because varying insights and perspectives could help you achieve your nefarious greatness and keep you from creating things that will turn round and bite you in the ass…or the balls.